How Do You Pray?

Sometimes we use memorized prayers, as I indicated above. Prayers that we hold in common with others and that are known to all help us pray together as a community of faith. Sometimes the memorized prayers do not quite say what is in our heart. When this occurs, we need to let the Spirit lead us in prayer, to let the prayer flow out of our deepest self. It is not hard to pray spontaneously. However, we might be shy about doing it in public, even with those we know and love. In an atmosphere of trust and respect, we can pray spontaneously. Sometimes we need to encourage one another in our prayer life, to affirm the attempts and efforts of prayer. Praying takes practice!

Activity One
Recall that there are four kinds of prayer: prayers of petition, praise, thanksgiving, and contrition. Choose one of the kinds and invite family members to write a personal prayer that reflects that kind of prayer. Take turns sharing (reading aloud) what each has written. Choose one or two to post on the refrigerator for a few days.

Activity Two
When the family gathers for a meal, an event, or a trip in the car, invite everyone to pause for a moment of quiet and to consider what you are about to do. Ask if someone would like to offer a spontaneous prayer for the occasion.

Activity Three
Practice brief spontaneous expressions of faith throughout the day. For example: At the sight of a beautiful sunrise or sunset you might offer a spontaneous prayer of praise or thanks to God for the gift of eyesight that enables you to behold such beauty. When a family member has a special need or concern, you might offer a spontaneous prayer of petition asking for God's grace at this time. When a loved one comes or goes from the home, you might offer a spontaneous blessing. Simply make a sign of the cross on his or her forehead, lay your hands on his or her head or shoulders, give a hug, and ask God to bless his or her coming or going. (This used to be fairly common in Catholic families. Oh, that parents would resume blessing their children more often these days!)

Thanksgiving Day is not the only time of the year that we should take time to be grateful to God for the many gifts He shares with us. Prayers of thanksgiving are one of the four types of prayers. Sometimes it is good for us to reflect on the many good things that are ours, that we enjoy and sometimes take for granted, and give thanks to God for all that we have and are. It can be a challenge to thank God for what we need even before we have it, trusting that God will provide for our needs in ways that are best.

Activity One
Gather some pencils, pens, crayons or markers; some pieces of paper about 3"x5"; and a basket or bowl, and invite the family or household to come together. After a few words of introduction (like those immediately above) invite them to think about the gifts they have for which they could give thanks to God. They can then use the paper to write or draw a symbol, one per paper, of the things that come to mind. The papers can be collected in the basket or bowl so that there is a visible sign that our "cup runs over" because of the goodness of God. The basket or bowl could be placed in a prominent place.

Activity Two
When the family or household gathers for a meal, one or more of the papers could be drawn and shared as part of the thanksgiving prayer before or after the meal.

Activity Three
The family or household could gather for a special prayer of thanksgiving. The papers created in Activity One could be the source for a litany of thanksgiving. To each item, the rest of the family could respond with an appropriate phrase such as, "we thank you, God" or "we are grateful for your goodness."

Activity Four
When the family or household is in the car together, offer thanks to God for the things that you see as you drive. You could express gratitude for nature, for things, or for other people. For example, when you pass a hospital, you could be grateful for access to such a facility, for the doctors, nurses, and others who care for the sick, etc.

One of the time-honored kinds of prayer is that of petition or asking God for what we and others need. Prayers of petition challenge us to recall our dependence on God. We cannot get along without God. We believe that God knows our needs even before we ask. Yet, we offer prayers of petition because it helps us remember that we need God above all. When we offer prayers of petition we do so with a spirit of openness, trusting that God will hear and answer our prayers in the way that is best. Sometimes it seems like the answer never comes or in ways that we do not anticipate. However, we trust in the promise of Jesus, "ask and it will be done for you."

Activity One
When you are gathered for a meal or in the car, talk about the times when you pray prayers of petition. What are some of the needs and concerns you have brought to God's attention? Have your prayers been answered? Were they answered in the way you expected them to be? If they were not answered, did you give up asking? How has your faith been challenged or strengthened by this kind of prayer?

Activity Two
On a large sheet of paper draw four concentric circles. In the innermost circle write some of the needs and concerns of the family/household members that you want to remember in prayer. In the next circle write some of the needs and concerns of your local parish, neighborhood or community that you want to remember in prayer. In the next circle write some of the needs and concerns of our nation, and in the most outer circle write some of the needs and concerns of our world. Post the paper some place where you can be reminded of the things you are asking of God. It may be helpful to place your hand on each of the circles in succession as you pray for the things written there.

Activity Three
When you gather for a meal or other occasion, pause to pray for one of the needs and concerns you have identified in each of the four categories of Activity 2 above. You might have each member identify one, and other members respond, "Lord, hear us" to each petition. Or, set aside a different day to pray for the needs and concerns listed in each of the circles so that one day is dedicated to the concerns of the family/household; another day for parish, neighborhood, community; another for nation; another for world.

Many of us pray when we want to ask God for something either for ourselves or someone else. Sometimes it is difficult to just give compliments to God. Prayers of praise give praise to God for being good, for the mystery and majesty of God. Prayers of praise can be a challenge for us to think about God in terms of someone who deserves our praise. It forces us to not take God for granted. Prayers of praise reflect our own attitude and ability to recognize others for their goodness, especially our ability to just praise God for being God.

Activity One
Try for a week to offer only prayers of praise when you gather for meals or other events. Use phrases such as: "God, you are good and wonderful. We praise you." "God, we praise you for the mystery that is you." "God, we believe that you are holy and awesome." "We praise you for your majesty, O God." Be creative and make up some of your own.

Activity Two
As you practice giving praise to God, also practice giving praise to each other. Look for opportunities to compliment one another for qualities that are unique to each person as well as for what they do. Be sincere. When you receive a compliment, thank the person giving it.

Activity Three
After trying a time for giving praise to God and each other, take time to talk about how it felt. Was it hard to not ask God for something when you prayed? How did it feel to receive compliments from others? Were you embarrassed? Were you able to receive a compliment graciously? Were you able to offer compliments to others with sincere affection? If not, why was it hard?

Activity Four
As a family or household, write a prayer of praise that you could use from time to time when you are gathered for a meal or other event. It could be in the form of a litany with a response such as those suggested in Activity One above. It could be in the form of a poem, a song, or just a brief paragraph. Be creative. If you have lots of ideas, write more than one and alternate the use of them.

One of the well established kinds of prayer is offering words of sorrow for our wrongdoing. In prayers of contrition, we acknowledge that we are imperfect, that we make mistakes, that sometimes we choose wrong behavior that affects us and our relationship to God and others. As a family or household it can be very important to take time out to say we are sorry, to ask forgiveness of one another and of God. It is also important for us to let those we live with know that we forgive them for the hurts we have endured. God's love is greater than we can ever dare to imagine. God forgives us before we even ask. However, we need to acknowledge that we are sorry, that we intend to do better, and that we need God in our life to help us choose the right behavior.

Activity One
When the family or household gathers for a meal, read Matthew 5:23-24 where Jesus tells us that if we have anything against our brother or sister we are to make peace with him or her before we bring our gift to the altar. Invite them to share a sign of peace with each other before the meal.

Activity Two
Gather some pieces of paper, about 5 x 7, some pencils, pens, crayons or markers, a metal or glass bowl, a hot-pad, a candle, and matches. When the family or household assembles, give an introduction using similar words to the introduction above. Explain that as a unit you are going to pause to reflect on relationships with each other and with God. Light the candle. Invite each member to take a piece of paper and write or draw symbols of behaviors they are sorry about – things they have done that have separated them from others and from God. When everyone is ready, take turns burning the pieces of paper in the bowl. As each family member burns the paper he or she could say something like, "I am sorry for my wrongdoing." The rest of the family responds with something like, "We love you and forgive you." When all are finished, take turns blessing each other with the ashes.

Activity Three
When household members are gathered for a meal, event, or car-ride, begin a discussion about the suffering in our world that is caused by people choosing wrong behavior. Consider your own experiences of suffering, what you see and know in your local community, what you see and know about our state, our nation, the world. Offer prayers of contrition for humanity's inhumanity.

Centering prayer, an ancient method, is based on the conviction that in our deepest self we can find God. In this prayer we open our minds and hearts to the presence of God within us. God calls us to friendship. In this kind of prayer we let go of the things that get in the way of our friendship with God. We wait for God as we would wait for a friend. It takes time to become intimate friends. Our relationship with God takes time, too. In Centering prayer we take time to just be with God, realizing that God is beyond all human thoughts, feelings and concepts. In this kind of prayer we do not use thoughts or words. Rather, we let go of any thoughts or feelings when they come to mind so we can make a space for God.

Centering prayer can be practiced alone or with others. The following steps will help you to pray in this way.

• Choose a quiet space where you can be comfortable and where you can be uninterrupted and uninhibited.
• It can be helpful to have a stop watch or timer handy so you can pray without watching the clock or your watch.
• You might want to darken the room and light a candle. These can cut down distractions and help you to focus.
• Once you are comfortable and the candle is lit, take a few deep breaths and relax. Then set the timer or stop watch for twenty minutes.
• Close your eyes and recall your desire to just be in God's presence.
• When thoughts or feelings come to mind, let them go. Do not give into them or allow them to take you away from God's presence. Distractions will come, that is normal. Think of this kind of prayer as the prayer of "letting go." Don't be surprised if you spend the whole prayer period letting go of thoughts and feelings. Over time you will experience something happening in your life – a new sense of peace, a new awareness of God's great love for you. Be patient! Prayer takes practice.

When the time is up, slowly come back to the here and now.

Praying with Scripture can be done alone or with others. When done with others, it can be a means of sharing more deeply the faith that you attempt to live out day by day. We believe that one of the ways God is manifested to us is through the Scriptures. When we prayerfully read the Scriptures, we open our minds and hearts to the Spirit of God. We can be both challenged and affirmed by the Word of God.

The following steps will help you to use the Scriptures in prayer. They can be done alone or when you gather as a group.

• Choose a passage of Scripture, about five to ten verses in length. You might choose one of your favorites, part of the Scriptures from the previous or coming Sunday readings, or, use an index to help you locate a passage that seems to be appropriate for the time or occasion.
• Choose a comfortable place where you can be uninterrupted and uninhibited.
• Light a candle. Take a few moments to get your body in harmony with your spirit. Sometimes it helps to take a few deep breaths or stretch the body and then relax.
• Acknowledge God's presence with you. Ask God to send the Spirit to be with you and guide you in this time of reflection.
• Read the passage you have chosen slowly, listening carefully to it. You might want to pause after a sentence or phrase.
• Speak aloud the words or phrases that struck you. Do not discuss them, just speak them.
• Read the passage a second time, slowly and prayerfully.
• Consider the message the passage might have for you – a challenge, an affirmation, an insight. If doing this with others, you could invite them to share what comes to mind.
• Read the passage a third time, slowly and prayerfully.
• Pause for about ten minutes of silence and allow the Spirit to speak to you. If no words or thoughts come, just sit in the silence. Sometimes God touches us in ways that we cannot know.
• Consider how the passage calls you to action following the time of prayer. Is there something you need to do to make the Scripture alive for you here and now?

Close with a brief prayer of thanksgiving or praise to God for the gift of the Spirit.

This type of prayer involves reading scripture, just as in "Praying with Scripture," but it is done alone and is active rather than passive.

In "Active Contemplation," you read an event in the Gospel and imagine yourself right there in the scene. Watch the event unfold, using your imagination to fill in the details. More precisely, ask God to use your imagination to fill in the details and to use this Gospel passage to lead you deeper into the mysteries of our faith.

This is not the same as watching a play or movie, because in active contemplation you are "actually" within the scene. You are not outside looking in, but you become part of what's happening. For example, imagine that you ask questions of the others in the scene or that they say something to you. In your mind, use all of your senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) to make the Gospel scene as graphic and vivid as possible. Experience the warmth, the cold, the tone of voice, the facial expressions. In your mind, feel the breeze on your face, or smell the food cooking.

This is not mere fantasy, as you are being faithful to what the Gospel says about the core of the event itself. But let God, through your imagination, fill in little details that are not provided in the words. In this way, the scene becomes more meaningful, and you are an active participant.

To be effective in this form of prayer, it is essential that you begin by asking the Holy Spirit to lead you – to give you new insights, to let the scene unfold in ways you might not have expected, and to be sure your imagination does not go astray!